Comments About Journey of HeartsTM
2001 to 2002 - Part 1
How profound.... You have
one of the best sites I have seen, both inside and out...
Kathy Adcock, Thunder Bay
Never having experienced
death other than from a distance, the death of my dear brother Jimmy has
left me numb. It has left me feeling empty and unable to deal with
the enormity of what has happened.
The words I have just read have helped me, they
have helped me grieve and to put into words just how I feel. I shall share
them with my family and friends. Thanks
Your site was excellent.
I lost my dad and sister to cancer in less than 5 months.
Thank you for the powerful
messages and images on the site. I found this by way of the power of synchronicity.
I have been doing research for a graduate paper on depression in the elderly
and became inspired as I wrote to refer to a quote that had served as a
healing message for me in my own grief work. I was searching for the citation
for the Camus quote re the invincible summer in the hopes of finding the
exact citation; which work it came from originally. As I searched this
I found this site.
The messages there were actually what I have been
needing most recently as I have been under a lot of stress and have been
ignoring my heart's need to carry on my grief work over the losses of both
parents and a younger brother within the past 10 years, the diagnosis of
life threatening illness in myself and my remaining sibling.
Please accept my thanks.
I happened to come across
your website, "Journey of Hearts", by chance this morning. I intend
to bookmark it for return visits as there are so many pages and so much
to read! I was wondering if this site has a webring. I thought
that if there is one, I wondered if my personal homepage would qualify
for such a webring. I share my experiences at http://www.thischildsjourney.com.
I call them sharings from an adult survivor of childhood sexual abuse.
Thanks for your time.
I don't know if you remember
me, but I had em'd you about a year ago to thank you for having designed
the "Journey of Hearts". It had helped me so much after the death
of my parents. I described how I donít know how I would have gotten
through most days without logging on, but as it helped me heal, I realized
how less and less I was having to check in. Even though I kept it
bookmarked in my "Favorites" folder, I haven't checked it in almost a year.
During that time, I married to a great, wonderful
man. You gave me the inspiration to release butterflies in memory
of my parents. It was the most poignant part of the day!
Sadly, I've returned to "Journey" once again.
After a few blissful weeks of pregnancy, I miscarried our first babies
(twins) three days ago. Needless to say, I've been having a really
hard time. Today was an especially hard day--it's my mom's three
year death anniversary. Our babies were supposed to be a gift from
God to make up for losing them. I'm working on trying to move on,
so I checked your site.
On the Loss page, the first thing I saw was the
quote about courage ("It isn't for the moment, you are struck...").
I remember reading those words almost a year ago, and it felt like an old
friend. I had this instant feeling of comfort because I remembered
what it was to get through something you never thought you could get through.
I know I am blessed with a lot of friends and family who are able to help
me get through this, but this kind of experience is more rare amongst them.
I'm ashamed to say that I am sick of the pitiful speeches, stupid questions
and awkward silences I've been having. I heard the "it just wasn't
meant to be" speech so many times now.
On-line resources such as yours are SO important.
It gives me the chance to be proactive about what I need without shoveling
through the drivel. I donít know how I would be able to get through
this bad time without it. I find myself thanking you again for this
support--it is exactly what I need to help me heal, and find my way out
of the dark places of my immense sorrow.
In addition to your site, I have also visited
my priest and visited a pregnancy loss board for other women who've experienced
this loss. Through all these resources, I've been able to come to
terms with my loss. I am grieving still and probably will for some
time, but realize that my babies, however brief they were with me, WERE
an incredible, beautiful and wonderful gift. For a short time, I
got a chance to love someone with all my being. I felt the wonder
and capacity of that level of emotion, and am awed. I realize that
when the time eventually comes (hopefully) that I will hold my own healthy
baby in my arms. I will not worry about what I can and can't do for it
that is of the material or physical world, because I will be able to give
it the one thing that matters-LOVE. All the rest that I could ever
hope for my child WILL follow naturally. Through this, they will
have a sense of belonging, roots, self-esteem, everything that really matters.
On this day, when I had thought I would not even
been able to leave my bed this morning, I WAS given the greatest, most
wondrous, beautiful gift...for a brief time, I WAS A MOTHER...
Thank you again. Don't ever stop doing the
"Journey of Hearts". We all need it to get through our own "travels".
Teresa (Tessa) Solomon
I just wanted you to know
that your website has been and continues to be very helpful to me . Thank
you for your hard work.
I just recently read on the
internet the passage that begins, "I find an old photograph..." I
needed to let you know that it was beautiful and every line grabbed my
heart. Thank you for sharing this on the Internet.
Oh how touching I have 3
friends who are ill and one has lost her mother. I cried. I shall pass
on your site.
Thank you for the info you
posted on the site about self-healing. These are very beautiful ideas and
itís people like you that share love that make this world a better place.
Thanks for sharing the ideas.
I'm hurting to say too much
tonight. Just thanks for your website.
For whatever reason I found
myself onto your web pages. Over the last couple of years I have periodically
come back to find comfort in privacy. It is a wonderful site and certainly
serves a purpose not only for myself but I'm sure for many others.
I found your amazing website
I'm so fortunate to have found this remarkable place! Thank-you for your
beautiful and extraordinary website!
I heard about your site...from
someone who was online AOL Widows and Widowers. This [chatroom] has been
very helpful for many people. I have been going in there for about 1 year
now...my loss (my husband) passed about 8 1/2 years ago, but i still feel
the pain just not as much as early on. Those of us who have had time to
"recover" the loss (do you ever really recover?) can reassure those who
are in the beginning stages of their grief process that things will get
"softer" and "different."
I think your site is really good, very helpful.
It seems to cover everything that anyone would need who is in the throes
of the grieving process...as well as those...who are well on their way
to "moving on."
I got through the night and
that is more profound than you know. Thank you for the cyber lifesaver.
I have been coping with the
loss of my grandmother since 6/99. It has opened up the wounds of
past losses. I only found one site that was sort of helpful, GROWW.
But I happened upon yours today and my word, what a helpful place.
I could never put into words how my heart has been held and nurtured by
things I have seen on your site. I wrestle most days with wanting
to end my life to join my grandmother. A couple things were really
neat to me. The idea of releasing balloons in honor of people and
pets who have passed on and putting messages in them is soooo ool!
My grandmother died due to complications of dementia and I learned on here
that the Alzheimer's Assoc. has a memory walk and I am going to do that
in honor of my sweet grandma. I could gush forever, but I must go.
Please don't think it overly dramatic, but a site
like this can literally save someone's life. God bless you. Your
site has helped me immeasurably and I could never thank you enough.
God bless you for wanting to share your pain to help others who are hurting.
I stumbled onto your page
whilst looking for a publisher for my poetry. I stopped a while and read
some of the most beautiful pieces I have ever seen. I hope to send you
some of my work in the near future, which I think could help comfort your
readers. I have printed a copy of 'The Day God Called You Home' as it humbled
me to read.
With many congratulations on your site.
Your webpage is helpful to
me today, Motherís Day. I'm a widower, 53, with two teenaged children.
My wife, Sharon, died Sept. 1999 of suicide. She had been diagnosed bipolar,
and refused treatment.
I live in a city too small to have support groups
for suicide survivors. I am thinking about starting one.
I believe that in a valley of 225,000 people,
there must be many who have experienced the suicide of a friend, spouse,
child or other relative. I believe the pain lasts a lifetime, and that
a support group could benefit those whose wound is fresh and those whose
pain goes back a long time.
I think your grief site is
great! My mother and I could really use your wisdom while we deal with
the death of my father. Please don't let an important site like this go
More than a month ago, my best friend, Lisa, emailed
this website to me. she stayed with me during the sleepless nights after
my husband died (8/14/99), helped plan his memorial service, and has been
a god/ goddess send or like a guardian angel throughout the most awful
21 months of my life.
5/15/2001 would have been our 8th wedding anniversary
and Joe's 58th birthday. I thought that i would be ok if I stopped taking
my rx's, which I've taken since...my husband died. After the self-assessment
quiz and wakefield questionnaire, maybe I do need to discuss the rx's with
my physician and need to continue therapy.
I realize that the attitude of "I can do this
myself" is foolish. After exploring this website for more than two
hours, I know I'll be a frequent visitor, and once again, feel forever
grateful for the wonderful friend Lisa is, in finding this and sharing
it with me. Thank you Lisa for this gift, one of many for which I will
be ever so grateful for.
I have created a healing
page as the newest addition to my website. I have placed a text link to
your site there, but what you have is so wonderfully helpful to so many
that I'd love to place a banner promoting your help on my page.
Thank you for your time,
Thank you, for "The Day God
Called You Home" It is the most beautiful I've ever read. I too have lost
my parentsómy father in November of 1999 and my mom on May 2, 2001. I especially
like the last stanza:
"It broke our hearts to lose you, but you did
not go alone.
For part of us went with you on the day God called
Thank you Kristi,
Thanks for putting together
such a wonderful web site.
This is a great site.
I am about to lose my Mom and I know this site will help me.
I am making a poetry book
for my English final exam. I was wondering if you could help me out by
telling me if you are the author of the Guardian Angel poem on your website.
If you are can you please e-mail me back and tell me what inspired you
to write the poem and a little about yourself also because we have to give
information about the author of the poems also. I would really appreciate
it if you did.
This project is our final exam grade. We have
to choose 15 poems on a certain topic and I chose to use the topic of overcoming.
I feel that Guardian Angel is a poem that shows how people feel like giving
up and have nothing to live for, but then God steps in and He helps you
to stand firm and over come the obstacles you are facing no matter how
tough they are all you have to do is hold on. There is a poem section,
a reflection section where we write our reactions to the poems, and an
author section where we give a biography (birth, death, college, writing
style, influences on writing) of the author. Thanks for replying so quickly.
Part 2: My teacher liked my project and the fact
that I had to e-mail my authors for the author section. Guardian Angel
really made me realize that God is with me every step of the way. I read
your bio and I must say that I'm amazed. To see a child of God strive so
far. I want to go into the medical field someday and you've only inspired
me more. God is truly amazing and He is showcasing His children. Stay blessed,
highly favored and anointed to prosper. I'm glad that I found your poem.
I got an "A" :)))
I just wanted to thank you
for this site. My best friend just died. I just found this site surfing,
I have bookmarked it and will refer to it often. It has already helped
me. I realize the steps now, involved in the grieving process. The
'myths about grief' page was helpful too.
Just thought I would write a quick note to tell
you Thank You,
Thanks! I was surfing the
web early this morning, and I found your site. Thanks so much for
a beautiful presentation.
I sent your web address to my friend who recently
lost her husband to a long bout of cancer back in April, 2001. Just
recently the numbness has worn off, and she's struggling with depression.
Thank you again for your caring, compassionate
touch with dignity!
My son Ted, was killed Jan.
1st., 2001, in an automobile accident. My life shall never be the same
again. I just found your web site today. I find the need to write and talk
about him whenever I can.
Thank you for creating an
oasis to support well-being. I was intrigued to discover your website.
I explored much of it and discovered that you had done your residency at
Cottage Hospital where I was born in 1951. I also lost my loved one,
my father, to Alzheimer's.
Because of the many losses I had experienced in
my life and my musical upbringing, I have become a therapeutic harpist
playing for cancer and hospice patients. Oncologists and hospice staff
are extremely supportive of the music and its effects.
I celebrate the valuable work that you are doing
and will be sharing it widely with others.
I can't adequately express
the impact your poem [Healers & Healing] had on me! My Dad has stage
IV colon cancer with inoperable mets to the liver. He is still undergoing
the chemotherapy treatment of 5-FU and CPT11 and holding his own for right
now. I know that this is only for a limited time and he will go on to the
next regimen, then the next, until his options are exhausted. My Mom and
I are aware of his impending death but she refuses to discuss it with him.
The doctor has only told him "It is pretty bad". When my Mom finally nailed
the doctor down and refused to leave until he answered her question of,
"How long do you think he has?" He said about 1 year at most. So
your article about doctors imparting truth and healing to terminal patients
really hit home.
I would like to know if there is a book that we
could read that would help us understand the dying process better. Also,
anything she could read that would enable her to discuss his imminent death
with him. I know it is painful. My husband and I had to discuss his possible
death when he was diagnosed with lymphoma 2 years ago.
Again, thanks so much for that poem. I know it
was targeted for the physician but it sure hit home with me.
Gratitude. This is exactly
what my husband and I felt. I am left alive with so much more than i ever
had before. I am hoping that someday this serious side of life that keeps
me from trivialities will someday make me even happier than before because
of it. Here is something I read every morning and every night:
If I go while you're still here-know that i live
on, vibrating to a different measure-behind a veil you cannot see through.
You cannot see me, so you must have faith. I wait for the time when
we can both soar together again-both aware of each other.
Until then, live your life to its fullest and
when you need me, just whisper my name in your heart....I will be there
Let me begin by thanking
you for the blessing of this site. I rarely use the Internet, but when
I do, I always click on this site. Thank you so very much and keep up the
I have lost a lot in the
last 4 years my daughter in 97 and my gram last week. I must say I love
I'd like to tell you I am
glad to find your site. It's helpful for me to heal my loss.
I want to thank you for your
web page. My husband lost his parents in 1999, 4 months apart, with
his dad was killed in a car wreck only 2 months after we got married.
My husband has filed for divorce and is obviously
not sure he did the right thing, but won't turn back. I knew he took
his dad's death very hard, which I have no idea of the pain because I have
mine, but knowing when mine had a heart attack and had to have triple bypass,
just the thought of losing him was horrible, but also know he keeps things
bottled up. He rejects the idea that he needs help but with comments
he's made since we 1st separated 2 months ago, it became very obvious that
him losing his dad was the reason for his actions and back and forth with
what he wants. He's pushed me away, the rest of his family and goes
to work and then wants everyone to "just leave me alone".
After reading about depression and your web site,
I'm hoping that if he reads your site (if he's willing) that maybe he can
see himself. His brother always tells him to "get over it" which
to me is cold but anyone to avoid rambling, thanks and I PRAY that he will
read it and maybe see that grieving is what is causing the changes in him
and that he's "normal" and it's o.k. to cry and he doesn't have to pretend
to be "happy" around me. I feel like he's between anger and depression
because of what he says and how he's withdrawing from everyone.
I love my husband with all my heart and want
to stand by him and be as supportive as I can be and again PRAY that he
can realize that the problems we have and his lack of feeling love for
me or family is part of depression etc. and it will get better at some
point and it's not worth throwing our marriage away.
My sister sent me your web
site and I have passed it on to several of our friends who have also lost
a child. We have five children and lost our only daughter Annie age
18 in a car accident just four miles from our family farm, 1 1/2 years
ago. It seems like yesterday, and my husband and I are still grieving
terribly, to the point where neither one of us care whether we live or
die. Our four boys are not dealing with their sisters death at all,
and I can see the toll it is taking on them also.
Your site is wonderful, and I thank you for sharing
it with parents like myself. People speak of heartache, but after
you have lost a child, it is no longer a figure of speech, there is literally
a pain in your heart no words can describe. My daughter had gotten
a small butterfly on the top of her foot, so your section of Butterflies
& Blazes was of special interest to myself and to some of Annie's friends
who wanted to get a butterfly tattoo but didn't know why.
Thank you is all I can say.
Absolutely a marvelous site!
Thank you for all the hard work / time / energy that went in to creating
Once again, a marvelous web site!
Jammer (Willow Miranda)
I have just found your site.
It is wonderful and very interesting.
I lost my 16-year-old daughter 3years ago. I
also lost my best friend of 14 years, my collie Lassie. it was one day
before the three year anniversary of my daughters death. Then on August
31st 2001 a close family friends daughter and her boyfriend were murdered.
This was like having a 2nd surgery and being cut
on the same scar. I have been on antidepressant for 5 years now and they
say I'll have to stay on them for the rest of my life.
Thank you for your wonderful
website, I found to be an inspiration, sadness, but yet knowing I am not
fighting this battle alone. I have posttraumatic syndrome. This will be
for all my life.
I just wanted to write a
short note to say that I have found this site most inspiring and helpful
and plan to visit it daily as I am experiencing a most painful grief. I
lost my mother to cancer 3 weeks ago today and am suffering terribly over
it as it was very sudden and unexpected. I was referred to your site to
help me with my anguish and grief. Thank you very much for your caring
in putting a much needed site together.
Read More Comments from 2001
I got through
the night and that is more profound than you know.
Thank you for the cyber
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