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Comments About Journey of HeartsTM
2001 to 2002 - Part 1


How profound.... You have one of the best sites I have seen, both inside and out...
Respectfully...
Kathy Adcock, Thunder Bay
Ontario, Canada

Never having experienced death other than from a distance, the death of my dear brother Jimmy has left me numb. It has left me feeling empty and unable to deal with the enormity of what has happened.

The words I have just read have helped me, they have helped me grieve and to put into words just how I feel. I shall share them with my family and friends. Thanks

Sharon

Your site was excellent. I lost my dad and sister to cancer in less than 5 months.
Dixon

Thank you for the powerful messages and images on the site. I found this by way of the power of synchronicity. I have been doing research for a graduate paper on depression in the elderly and became inspired as I wrote to refer to a quote that had served as a healing message for me in my own grief work. I was searching for the citation for the Camus quote re the invincible summer in the hopes of finding the exact citation; which work it came from originally. As I searched this I found this site.

The messages there were actually what I have been needing most recently as I have been under a lot of stress and have been ignoring my heart's need to carry on my grief work over the losses of both parents and a younger brother within the past 10 years, the diagnosis of life threatening illness in myself and my remaining sibling.

Please accept my thanks.
Thanks again

Lee Fraser

I happened to come across your website, "Journey of Hearts", by chance this morning. I intend to bookmark it for return visits as there are so many pages and so much to read! I was wondering if this site has a webring. I thought that if there is one, I wondered if my personal homepage would qualify for such a webring. I share my experiences at http://www.thischildsjourney.com. I call them sharings from an adult survivor of childhood sexual abuse.

Thanks for your time.
Kind regards,


I don't know if you remember me, but I had em'd you about a year ago to thank you for having designed the "Journey of Hearts". It had helped me so much after the death of my parents. I described how I donít know how I would have gotten through most days without logging on, but as it helped me heal, I realized how less and less I was having to check in. Even though I kept it bookmarked in my "Favorites" folder, I haven't checked it in almost a year.

During that time, I married to a great, wonderful man. You gave me the inspiration to release butterflies in memory of my parents. It was the most poignant part of the day!

Sadly, I've returned to "Journey" once again. After a few blissful weeks of pregnancy, I miscarried our first babies (twins) three days ago. Needless to say, I've been having a really hard time. Today was an especially hard day--it's my mom's three year death anniversary. Our babies were supposed to be a gift from God to make up for losing them. I'm working on trying to move on, so I checked your site.

On the Loss page, the first thing I saw was the quote about courage ("It isn't for the moment, you are struck..."). I remember reading those words almost a year ago, and it felt like an old friend. I had this instant feeling of comfort because I remembered what it was to get through something you never thought you could get through. I know I am blessed with a lot of friends and family who are able to help me get through this, but this kind of experience is more rare amongst them. I'm ashamed to say that I am sick of the pitiful speeches, stupid questions and awkward silences I've been having. I heard the "it just wasn't meant to be" speech so many times now.

On-line resources such as yours are SO important. It gives me the chance to be proactive about what I need without shoveling through the drivel. I donít know how I would be able to get through this bad time without it. I find myself thanking you again for this support--it is exactly what I need to help me heal, and find my way out of the dark places of my immense sorrow.

In addition to your site, I have also visited my priest and visited a pregnancy loss board for other women who've experienced this loss. Through all these resources, I've been able to come to terms with my loss. I am grieving still and probably will for some time, but realize that my babies, however brief they were with me, WERE an incredible, beautiful and wonderful gift. For a short time, I got a chance to love someone with all my being. I felt the wonder and capacity of that level of emotion, and am awed. I realize that when the time eventually comes (hopefully) that I will hold my own healthy baby in my arms. I will not worry about what I can and can't do for it that is of the material or physical world, because I will be able to give it the one thing that matters-LOVE. All the rest that I could ever hope for my child WILL follow naturally. Through this, they will have a sense of belonging, roots, self-esteem, everything that really matters.

On this day, when I had thought I would not even been able to leave my bed this morning, I WAS given the greatest, most wondrous, beautiful gift...for a brief time, I WAS A MOTHER...

Thank you again. Don't ever stop doing the "Journey of Hearts". We all need it to get through our own "travels".

Love,

Teresa (Tessa) Solomon

I just wanted you to know that your website has been and continues to be very helpful to me . Thank you for your hard work.
Jessica Morrissette

I just recently read on the internet the passage that begins, "I find an old photograph..." I needed to let you know that it was beautiful and every line grabbed my heart. Thank you for sharing this on the Internet.
Sincerely,
Carolyn

Oh how touching I have 3 friends who are ill and one has lost her mother. I cried. I shall pass on your site.
Thank you
Shirley

Thank you for the info you posted on the site about self-healing. These are very beautiful ideas and itís people like you that share love that make this world a better place.
Thanks for sharing the ideas.
LOVE
Maria

I'm hurting to say too much tonight. Just thanks for your website.

Carol

For whatever reason I found myself onto your web pages. Over the last couple of years I have periodically come back to find comfort in privacy. It is a wonderful site and certainly serves a purpose not only for myself but I'm sure for many others.

Thanks

Barb

I found your amazing website I'm so fortunate to have found this remarkable place! Thank-you for your beautiful and extraordinary website!

Best wishes,

Emily

I heard about your site...from someone who was online AOL Widows and Widowers. This [chatroom] has been very helpful for many people. I have been going in there for about 1 year now...my loss (my husband) passed about 8 1/2 years ago, but i still feel the pain just not as much as early on. Those of us who have had time to "recover" the loss (do you ever really recover?) can reassure those who are in the beginning stages of their grief process that things will get "softer" and "different."

I think your site is really good, very helpful. It seems to cover everything that anyone would need who is in the throes of the grieving process...as well as those...who are well on their way to "moving on."

Brlkhaven

I got through the night and that is more profound than you know. Thank you for the cyber lifesaver.
K.L. Thomas

I have been coping with the loss of my grandmother since 6/99. It has opened up the wounds of past losses. I only found one site that was sort of helpful, GROWW. But I happened upon yours today and my word, what a helpful place. I could never put into words how my heart has been held and nurtured by things I have seen on your site. I wrestle most days with wanting to end my life to join my grandmother. A couple things were really neat to me. The idea of releasing balloons in honor of people and pets who have passed on and putting messages in them is soooo ool! My grandmother died due to complications of dementia and I learned on here that the Alzheimer's Assoc. has a memory walk and I am going to do that in honor of my sweet grandma. I could gush forever, but I must go.

Please don't think it overly dramatic, but a site like this can literally save someone's life. God bless you. Your site has helped me immeasurably and I could never thank you enough. God bless you for wanting to share your pain to help others who are hurting.

Shelly

I stumbled onto your page whilst looking for a publisher for my poetry. I stopped a while and read some of the most beautiful pieces I have ever seen. I hope to send you some of my work in the near future, which I think could help comfort your readers. I have printed a copy of 'The Day God Called You Home' as it humbled me to read.
With many congratulations on your site.
Sean Matthews

Your webpage is helpful to me today, Motherís Day. I'm a widower, 53, with two teenaged children. My wife, Sharon, died Sept. 1999 of suicide. She had been diagnosed bipolar, and refused treatment.
I live in a city too small to have support groups for suicide survivors. I am thinking about starting one.
I believe that in a valley of 225,000 people, there must be many who have experienced the suicide of a friend, spouse, child or other relative. I believe the pain lasts a lifetime, and that a support group could benefit those whose wound is fresh and those whose pain goes back a long time.
Joe

I think your grief site is great! My mother and I could really use your wisdom while we deal with the death of my father. Please don't let an important site like this go away!
Regards,
Toni Cairo
More than a month ago, my best friend, Lisa, emailed this website to me. she stayed with me during the sleepless nights after my husband died (8/14/99), helped plan his memorial service, and has been a god/ goddess send or like a guardian angel throughout the most awful 21 months of my life.

5/15/2001 would have been our 8th wedding anniversary and Joe's 58th birthday. I thought that i would be ok if I stopped taking my rx's, which I've taken since...my husband died. After the self-assessment quiz and wakefield questionnaire, maybe I do need to discuss the rx's with my physician and need to continue therapy.
I realize that the attitude of "I can do this myself" is foolish. After exploring this website for more than two hours, I know I'll be a frequent visitor, and once again, feel forever grateful for the wonderful friend Lisa is, in finding this and sharing it with me. Thank you Lisa for this gift, one of many for which I will be ever so grateful for.

NancyJK

I have created a healing page as the newest addition to my website. I have placed a text link to your site there, but what you have is so wonderfully helpful to so many that I'd love to place a banner promoting your help on my page.
Thank you for your time,
Ellen DuBois

Thank you, for "The Day God Called You Home" It is the most beautiful I've ever read. I too have lost my parentsómy father in November of 1999 and my mom on May 2, 2001. I especially like the last stanza:
"It broke our hearts to lose you, but you did not go alone.
For part of us went with you on the day God called you home".

Thank you Kristi,

Diane

Thanks for putting together such a wonderful web site.
April

This is a great site. I am about to lose my Mom and I know this site will help me.
Mary

I am making a poetry book for my English final exam. I was wondering if you could help me out by telling me if you are the author of the Guardian Angel poem on your website. If you are can you please e-mail me back and tell me what inspired you to write the poem and a little about yourself also because we have to give information about the author of the poems also. I would really appreciate it if you did.

This project is our final exam grade. We have to choose 15 poems on a certain topic and I chose to use the topic of overcoming. I feel that Guardian Angel is a poem that shows how people feel like giving up and have nothing to live for, but then God steps in and He helps you to stand firm and over come the obstacles you are facing no matter how tough they are all you have to do is hold on. There is a poem section, a reflection section where we write our reactions to the poems, and an author section where we give a biography (birth, death, college, writing style, influences on writing) of the author. Thanks for replying so quickly.

Part 2: My teacher liked my project and the fact that I had to e-mail my authors for the author section. Guardian Angel really made me realize that God is with me every step of the way. I read your bio and I must say that I'm amazed. To see a child of God strive so far. I want to go into the medical field someday and you've only inspired me more. God is truly amazing and He is showcasing His children. Stay blessed, highly favored and anointed to prosper. I'm glad that I found your poem. I got an "A" :)))

Unique

I just wanted to thank you for this site. My best friend just died. I just found this site surfing, I have bookmarked it and will refer to it often. It has already helped me. I realize the steps now, involved in the grieving process. The 'myths about grief' page was helpful too.

Just thought I would write a quick note to tell you Thank You,

Barbara

Thanks! I was surfing the web early this morning, and I found your site. Thanks so much for a beautiful presentation.

I sent your web address to my friend who recently lost her husband to a long bout of cancer back in April, 2001. Just recently the numbness has worn off, and she's struggling with depression.

Thank you again for your caring, compassionate touch with dignity!

Respectfully,

Barbara Harper

My son Ted, was killed Jan. 1st., 2001, in an automobile accident. My life shall never be the same again. I just found your web site today. I find the need to write and talk about him whenever I can.
Barbara

Thank you for creating an oasis to support well-being. I was intrigued to discover your website. I explored much of it and discovered that you had done your residency at Cottage Hospital where I was born in 1951. I also lost my loved one, my father, to Alzheimer's.

Because of the many losses I had experienced in my life and my musical upbringing, I have become a therapeutic harpist playing for cancer and hospice patients. Oncologists and hospice staff are extremely supportive of the music and its effects.

I celebrate the valuable work that you are doing and will be sharing it widely with others.

Sincerely,
Christine Magnussen
www.HarpSpirit.com

I can't adequately express the impact your poem [Healers & Healing] had on me! My Dad has stage IV colon cancer with inoperable mets to the liver. He is still undergoing the chemotherapy treatment of 5-FU and CPT11 and holding his own for right now. I know that this is only for a limited time and he will go on to the next regimen, then the next, until his options are exhausted. My Mom and I are aware of his impending death but she refuses to discuss it with him. The doctor has only told him "It is pretty bad". When my Mom finally nailed the doctor down and refused to leave until he answered her question of, "How long do you think he has?" He said about 1 year at most. So your article about doctors imparting truth and healing to terminal patients really hit home.

I would like to know if there is a book that we could read that would help us understand the dying process better. Also, anything she could read that would enable her to discuss his imminent death with him. I know it is painful. My husband and I had to discuss his possible death when he was diagnosed with lymphoma 2 years ago.

Again, thanks so much for that poem. I know it was targeted for the physician but it sure hit home with me.

Sincerely,
Norma Law

Gratitude. This is exactly what my husband and I felt. I am left alive with so much more than i ever had before. I am hoping that someday this serious side of life that keeps me from trivialities will someday make me even happier than before because of it. Here is something I read every morning and every night:

If I go while you're still here-know that i live on, vibrating to a different measure-behind a veil you cannot see through. You cannot see me, so you must have faith. I wait for the time when we can both soar together again-both aware of each other.

Until then, live your life to its fullest and when you need me, just whisper my name in your heart....I will be there

Brenda H.

Let me begin by thanking you for the blessing of this site. I rarely use the Internet, but when I do, I always click on this site. Thank you so very much and keep up the wonderful work.
C. Shaw

I have lost a lot in the last 4 years my daughter in 97 and my gram last week. I must say I love your site.
Thanks
Liza

I'd like to tell you I am glad to find your site. It's helpful for me to heal my loss.
Anon

I want to thank you for your web page. My husband lost his parents in 1999, 4 months apart, with his dad was killed in a car wreck only 2 months after we got married.

My husband has filed for divorce and is obviously not sure he did the right thing, but won't turn back. I knew he took his dad's death very hard, which I have no idea of the pain because I have mine, but knowing when mine had a heart attack and had to have triple bypass, just the thought of losing him was horrible, but also know he keeps things bottled up. He rejects the idea that he needs help but with comments he's made since we 1st separated 2 months ago, it became very obvious that him losing his dad was the reason for his actions and back and forth with what he wants. He's pushed me away, the rest of his family and goes to work and then wants everyone to "just leave me alone".

After reading about depression and your web site, I'm hoping that if he reads your site (if he's willing) that maybe he can see himself. His brother always tells him to "get over it" which to me is cold but anyone to avoid rambling, thanks and I PRAY that he will read it and maybe see that grieving is what is causing the changes in him and that he's "normal" and it's o.k. to cry and he doesn't have to pretend to be "happy" around me. I feel like he's between anger and depression because of what he says and how he's withdrawing from everyone.
I love my husband with all my heart and want to stand by him and be as supportive as I can be and again PRAY that he can realize that the problems we have and his lack of feeling love for me or family is part of depression etc. and it will get better at some point and it's not worth throwing our marriage away.

Nancy

My sister sent me your web site and I have passed it on to several of our friends who have also lost a child. We have five children and lost our only daughter Annie age 18 in a car accident just four miles from our family farm, 1 1/2 years ago. It seems like yesterday, and my husband and I are still grieving terribly, to the point where neither one of us care whether we live or die. Our four boys are not dealing with their sisters death at all, and I can see the toll it is taking on them also.

Your site is wonderful, and I thank you for sharing it with parents like myself. People speak of heartache, but after you have lost a child, it is no longer a figure of speech, there is literally a pain in your heart no words can describe. My daughter had gotten a small butterfly on the top of her foot, so your section of Butterflies & Blazes was of special interest to myself and to some of Annie's friends who wanted to get a butterfly tattoo but didn't know why.

Thank you is all I can say.

Marcia Diemert

Absolutely a marvelous site! Thank you for all the hard work / time / energy that went in to creating it.
Once again, a marvelous web site!
Sincerely,
Jammer (Willow Miranda)

I have just found your site. It is wonderful and very interesting.
I lost my 16-year-old daughter 3years ago. I also lost my best friend of 14 years, my collie Lassie. it was one day before the three year anniversary of my daughters death. Then on August 31st 2001 a close family friends daughter and her boyfriend were murdered.

This was like having a 2nd surgery and being cut on the same scar. I have been on antidepressant for 5 years now and they say I'll have to stay on them for the rest of my life.

M Clark

Thank you for your wonderful website, I found to be an inspiration, sadness, but yet knowing I am not fighting this battle alone. I have posttraumatic syndrome. This will be for all my life.
Debbie Hall

I just wanted to write a short note to say that I have found this site most inspiring and helpful and plan to visit it daily as I am experiencing a most painful grief. I lost my mother to cancer 3 weeks ago today and am suffering terribly over it as it was very sudden and unexpected. I was referred to your site to help me with my anguish and grief. Thank you very much for your caring in putting a much needed site together.
Sincerely always,
Melissa Kalson

Read More Comments from 2001

Life preserver
I got through the night and that is more profound than you know.
Thank you for the cyber lifesaver.
K.L. Thomas

See the Emergency 911 Page for links to immediate resources
if you are feeling helpless, hopeless, overwhelmingly depressed, or suicidal.

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Last update July 20, 2002