Life brought you many
challenges
many struggles and many
hardships.
The years left their
marks as lines on your face
and gray-hues colored
your hair.
The sun weathered your
skin
adding freckles from
age.
Your mind slipped into
it’s own world
where few could reach
you,
As time took it’s toll.
We lost you years before
to the disease that steals
the mind
and leaves behind the
body to slowly fade,
with the passage of time.
A disease known as "the
longest goodbye."
The person we once knew,
the one I called "Grandmother,"
was lost in a haze
of mixed up neurons and
faulty wiring.
It became impossible
to learn anything new
leaving you unaware of
the second just past
and unable to project
a second into the future.
In Memory of Mildred Dyer
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Life was now lived moment
to moment,
instant to instant,
happy lost in old memories
and brief recollections.
And ever so often and
ever so briefly
a spark of recognition.
The person who once was
now hidden behind the
confusion
emerging to make herself
known.
As a physician trained
to save and prolong life
with so many instances
of having to do
‘everything’ obliging
by the family’s wishes,
I often wonder:
"Who are we to presume
we are more powerful,
more knowledgeable, more
omnipotent
than the forces of nature."
To hear frail bones crack
under the pressure of
the CODE
And watch as the signs
of life ebb away
while the team valiantly
endeavors
in a futile attempt to
turn back the hands of time.
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I see this struggle to
stop the inevitable death
over and over again
and it is not one that
I would wish
for my patients, my family
or my loved ones.
My wish for you
in this season of goodwill
towards men
and for every day since
we "lost" you
Is for a peaceful death,
a good death
a death of days gone
by.
For you to slip away
without fanfare
without sirens
without shouting
without pain
and without CODES
And find a rest without
waking.
This year we both got
our wish for Christmas.
You left us with serenity
and dignity
quietly and peacefully
in your sleep,
The way you had asked
to go.
© 1998 Kirsti
A. Dyer, MD, MS
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