Loss, Change & Grief
Journey of Hearts
A Healing Place in CyberSpaceTM
This poem was written during another one of my darker times, one of those dark night spent soul-searching, struggling to find meaning after experiencing a significant loss. 
It expresses the level of grief and loss, the hurt, the pain and the anguish. 
I share it so that you might realize you are not alone in the depth of the despair, that others have been there and survived, these feeings of anguish. 
I have shared these words as a resource for families of those who have committed suicide, as a way of helping them to understand just how dark sometimes it can get.
Be sure to read all the way through to the final quote.
by Kirsti A. Dyer
It begins as an affliction
in the center of my soul.
A scarcely detectable awareness.
A hungry gnawing sensation. 

The feeling emerges
slowly at first.
Barely perceptible.
A constant ache. 

It begins to permeate,
radiating to all levels
from core to periphery.
Filling with agony and grief. 

My hands begin to tremble
in reaction to the pain.
I scream in anguish
for it to stop.

It spreads, enlarging
becoming all-consuming, ravaging.
Distilled to a searing, burning sensation.
Bowels turning...tearing.
Heart pounding...shattering.

The break point is reached,
I can endure no more.
Tears of anguish flow.
Sobs of grief,
Releasing some of the torment. 

The pain subsides,
but still lingers.
Barely perceptible.
Never abating.
Never leaving.
Ever present.

It is only by going down into the abyss
   that we recover the treasures of life.
Where you stumble,
   there lies your treasure.
The very cave you are afraid to enter
   turns out to be the source of
   what you were looking for.
                       Joseph Campbell
 Last updated May 12, 1998
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