Health
for Life
Job Humor & Realities
Words of Wisdom
Journey of Hearts 
A Healing Place in CyberSpaceTM
DILBERT'S
WORDS OF WISDOM
1. I can please only one person
per day. Today is not your day.
Tomorrow isn't looking good
either.
2. I love deadlines.
I especially like the whooshing
sound they make as they go flying by.
3. Am I getting smart with you?
How would you know?
4. I'd explain it to you, but
your brain would explode.
5. Someday we'll look back
on all this and plow into a parked car.
6. There are very few personal
problems that cannot be solved
through a suitable application
of high explosives.
7. Tell me what you need, and I'll
tell you how to get along without it.
8. Accept that some days you're
the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
9. Needing someone is like
needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you
need him, chances are you won't
be needing him again.
10. I don't have an attitude problem.
You have a perception problem.
11. Last night I lay in bed
looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself,
"Where the hell is the ceiling?!"
12. My Reality Check bounced.
13. On the keyboard of life,
always keep one finger on the escape key.
14. I don't suffer from stress.
I'm a carrier.
15. You're slower than a herd
of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
16. Do not meddle in the affairs
of dragons, because to them,
you are crunchy and taste good
with ketchup.
17. Everybody is somebody else's
weirdo.
18. Never argue with an idiot.
They drag you down to their level.
Last updated November 23, 1999
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