The Final Letting Go
Loss from Death
Journey of Hearts 
A Healing Place in CyberSpaceTM
In some regards, because of the finality of the death, this may be the most difficult way of letting go. Knowing that you will never have a chance to see that person (or pet), be with them or experience their laughter,  joy, nuzzle or touch can be initially overwhelming, and it may be years before the grieving process is over. It is the ultimate "Good bye."

See the Condolence Page.

In the days following the loss, one progresses through the stages of grief...Denial (shock), Bargaining, Anger, Depression and finally Acceptance.

Initially the feelings of anguish, loss and despair can be so intense that we feel we will not be able to survive. I think about Tom Hanks' character in "Sleepless in Seattle," describing the days following the death of his wife, reminding himself to breathe every day...and somehow you just keep on going.

Poems on Getting through the Darkness

Many of the poems that I have included on this website are poems that help put into words the emotions and the feelings evoked during the process of letting go of someone or something.
The poems that I have included, Anguish describes the intense feelings, but leaves you hanging with the grief.

Darkness also describes the dark times, the "Dark nights of the Soul" the times that you feel you may never refover, because the pain is too intense to bear. It takes you along the dark times, but finds a light.
Guardian Angel is much the same as darkness, taking you through a down period, only to be lifted out by a Friend or Angel.

Learning in time the "Grief Flies Away"

As with all losses with time, the "grief flies away," and we begin to reframe our losses, and realize that we can be grateful for having the time with that person, in the words of Frank O'Connor, having something or someone special to lose," "something worth grieving for. "

Our memories of the person or pet never entirely diminish, but you learn to remember the good, diminish the bad and allow life to move on with you.
In time we begin to live again and remember that which we have lost in a different light, realize that they would not have wanted us to grieve forever. The words they would have used to console us in our grief:

"If you love me, let me go."

At Long Last, a final letting go.... beloved Friend, companion, in many dreams.
I release you, at last
...not in sadness, but in joy!

For the song you brought
shall sing forever,

Within my heart!

Joan Walsh Anglund

After many days and nights of grieving, we can let them go and learn to love again.

 Last updated January 26, 1998
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