See Me Through My Tears
by Kelly Osmont
"How am I doing?"
As I told
you, tears came to my eyes...
and you looked away and quickly began to talk again.
All the attention
you had given me drained away.
"How am I
doing?"...I do better when people listen,
though I may shed a tear or two.
never known it you cannot fully understand.
Yet I need you.
When you look away,
When I'm ignored,
I am again alone with it
means more than you can ever know.
are not a bad sign, you know!
They're nature's way of helping me to heal...
They relieve some of the stress of sadness.
I know you
fear that asking how I'm doing brings me sadness
...but you're wrong.
of my loved one's death will always be with me,
Only a thought away.
make my pain more visible to you, but you did not
give me the pain...it was already there.
When I cry,
could it be that you feel helpless, not knowing
what to do?
You are not
And you don't
need to do a thing but be there.
When I feel
your permission to allow my tears to flow,
you've helped me
not speak. Your silence as I cry is all I need.
Be patient...do not fear.
with your heart to "how I am doing"
relieves the pain,
for when the tears can freely come and go, I feel lighter.
you releases what I've been wanting to say aloud,
for a touch of joy in my life.
I'll cry for
a minute or two...
and then I'll wipe my eyes,
and sometimes you'll even find I'm laughing later.
When I hold
back the tears, my throat grows tight,
my chest aches, my stomach knots...
because I'm trying to protect you from my tears.
Then we both
hurt...me, because my pain is held inside,
a shield against our closeness...and you,
because suddenly we're distant.
So please, take my hand and see me through my tears...
then we can be close again.