The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
Kahlil Gibran
Condolences & Sympathy 
Journey of Hearts
A Healing Place in CyberSpaceTM
"What can I do, now?"
This page is here for anyone who may be in an immediate state of shock or grief phase, having just experienced a loss (e.g. death, ending of a relationship, or receiving other catastrophic news) and are now in the stage of "What can I do, now?"

Perhaps a scene that best describes this state of mind, is from "Sleepless in Seattle," when Tom Hanks' character is talking about the days following the death of his wife, reliving those feelings as he speaks on the phone when he states..." I had to remind myself to breathe." 


The wind casts seeds to scatter in the breeze.
We plant seeds of love into others' souls to bloom.
Those who bloom in the hearts of others never die.

In this section of the site, we hope to create some calming images, share some soothing words, some words of inspiration and some ways of remembering to help with the initial numbing phases, to nullify the shock and help start slow healing process.

The Ache that never leaves
It is also for anyone who may be experiencing a long-term grief, one that never leaves; it becomes a part of you. This kind of loss is one where--

What seems to happen is that with time, as you begin to heal, the pain seems to lessen to a level that you can function. Depending on the type of loss and your ability to heal, you can put the loss aside to the barely perceptible level and begin anew. 

"How does one become a butterfly?" she asked pensively.

"You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar."

"You meant to die?" asked Yellow.

" Yes and no," he answered. "What at first looks like you will die, but what is really... you will live."

From Trina Paulus, Hope for the Flowers

"I CAN feel better."

I chose the title "What can I do, now?" as opposed to "What do I do, now?" to stress the importance of the word "CAN." Although you may be in a state of shock, there still are thing that you CAN do to help yourself, recognizing that you are not a victim to your circumstances. In the early phases of the grief response, the "Why Me?" stages it may seem like it. Chosing to live again, chosing to find ways that "I CAN feel better," does not diminish the loss. This is particularly important if it was a loss through death, where there may be guilt associated with not staying in 'mourning' long enough. I believe that the people I have lost would be glad to see that I am living, not staying in 'mourning." You just reach a point where you decide to not allow the loss to control your life and choose to live.


they speak to us
in our dreams;

in thought
the wind hears them,

And for a moment
with their echo
Other echoes return
from the first poetry
of our loves.

C.P. Carafy

Learning to Live Again Webring
For this reason, Journey of Hearts joined the Learning to Live Again Webring. This webring is a ring of stories, of loss, survival and learning to live again. When I saw the name, the purpose of the ring, and their graphic with a flying angel-butterfly, it was a ring that could have been created from Journey of Hearts, so it was one we needed to join.
From it's creator, Ashli Gillespie, who formed the ring after the death of her infant daughter to SIDS, as a way to bring share the experience of loss in hope that it would help others:

I believe that the telling of the story is part of the healing process. Many of the sites in this ring deal with the loss of a loved ones. Some deal with recovery from chemical and/or alcohol abuse, and others surviving sexual or physical abuse. For those who might be offended by certain topics, I would advise checking out the overall listing, to find a site with a story that may help. We are glad to be joining a ring that binds together these stories of survival--those who have, are or will be "Learning to Live Again."

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Artwork by: Lady Bre

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Journey of Hearts
A Healing Place in CyberSpaceTM
Last updated January 3, 1999
All material, unless otherwise specified, is © 1997-9 by Journey of Hearts A Healing Place in CyberSpace. We invite you to share the information on this site with others who may benefit, but ask that you share from the heart only and not for profit.
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