Condolence & Sympathy
Poem--I Watch you Go
Journey of Hearts
A Healing Place in CyberSpaceTM
As I transcribed these words to create a webpage, I realized that they were words that I could have written myself, about similar situations...but with a particular twist. The twist I was to discover later...the feelings are about losses and letting go...a more controlled, composed grief, with plans to fall apart at a later time.
I Watch you Go
 © Susannah Thompson, 1996
This poem was sent to me by my sister-in-law, I thought as another of the many quotes and expressions that she has been forwarding me to use for the website. I discovered later that it was a poem written by her, after she had to give up one of her horses, Tess. She writes, "It was meant to be a good-bye to a horse gone down the road, but it could apply to people as well."
This poem to me further underscores the common feeling of loss and could equally apply to loss of a relationship or a child going off to school, as well as the loss of a good friend, a pet...a horse.

In October we received the following message:

Hello. I read the poem, I watch you Go while I was on Journey of Hearts and I want to thank you. As I read this poem I could see me.

To explain a little more: I am 22 yrs old and I have always been "Daddy's little girl." I looked up to my dad very much. For me he was my dad, mom and my Best friend. We were very close. In May he suffered from a Massive Heart Attack and was awaiting a heart Transplant. At that time I decided to pack my 2 children, leave my life behind, and go to him to make sure everything for my dad would be taken care of.

He lived at the hospital for 3 months while waiting for a heart. This was very hard for the both of us because he was a very strong willed man. He worked for 37 yrs and he was only 52 when this happened, but it also made us even closer because we had to stick together.

In July he started having strokes and it got to a point where there was nothing more the doctors could do. So I had to make the hardest decision in my life--that was to let my dad go. He knew what was going on and this made it even harder to deal with.  I will never forget one of the last things my dad said to me:

Well I did.  I had never felt so alone in all of my life. After that I watched him lay there for 3 more days, until he was gone. It is very hard to deal with but when I read this poem, I thought this is it. This is us. So I want to say thank you very much .
In January we received this message:

I have so enjoyed your website, "Journey of Hearts"!  It has been a great source of strength for me since the death of my Dad in September.
One particular poem especially touched me, as it seems to relate to my feelings and experience almost exactly!  I had read "I watch you Go" over and over.
You see, my Dad and I were so much more than Dad and Daughter.  We were soul mates, through and through.  He suffered a three month battle with pancreatic cancer, which, while it is so very sad, it enabled us to become even so much closer.  I moved into my parents home the last month of his life.  I know that the hardest part of facing his death was his worry of what would happen to his loved ones.  He was especially worried about me, because of our closeness.  On the afternoon of his death, 2 hours before God took him home, I was standing at his bedside, and as always, his heart was breaking because of my tears.  As I could not bear to hurt him anymore, I kissed him on the forehead, and told him I would be okay....and told him to go to sleep now.  I continued to check on him throughout the next few hours, as he peacefully slept.  Ten minutes before his departure, I was standing by his bedside, feeling assured that we had at the most a few more days.  I turned around, took 10 steps, and my sister came running to me, with the news that he was gone!  I knew that could not be true, because I had Just left him!!!  By the time I got to him, I heard his last sigh.  I was angry that I did not have that opportunity to walk him through the tunnel into eternal life!  Throughout my grief, I have come to understand, that my Maker knew me well enough to know, that that would have been much too hard on me!
Although every part of me misses him every second of everyday, I am at peace knowing he is in paradise.  And, I know that he is still very much with us.  There are times, when the feeling is so strong, it is as if he is right in my head telling me how to go on!!
I shared this so that it may in some way be able to help someone else who is trying to let go, and begin the healing process!! Letting go of a loved one is so very hard, but knowing they are in Heaven and happy, does indeed help to ease our sorrow!
With my sincere thanks for your wonderful website!!! There are days when it is truly my salvation!!

Sheila Baustian
Last updated Jamuary 18, 1999
The poem I Watch you Go is ©1996 by Susannah Thompson.
The Photograph is ©1999 by Kirsti A. Dyer, a composite photo using the horse from Corel Photo-Paint 8, 1988-1997.
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