Journey of Hearts 

CORPORATE AMERICA  IN THE 90'S IF ...

• You sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different companies.
• Your company welcome sign is attached with Velcro.
• Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket.
• Your company logo on your badge is applied with stick-um.
• You order your business cards in "half orders" instead of whole boxes.
• When someone asks about what you do for a living, you lie.
• You get really excited about a 2% pay raise.
• You learn about your layoff on CNN.
• Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose your best jokes.
• You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet.
• Salaries of the members on the Executive Board are higher than all the Third World. countries' annual budgets combined.
• You think lunch is just a meeting to which you drive.
• It's dark when you drive to and from work.
• Fun is when issues are assigned to someone else.
• Communication is something your group is having problems with.
• You see a good looking person and know it is a visitor.
• Free food left over from meetings is your main staple.
• Weekends are those days your significant other makes you stay home.
• Being sick is defined as can't walk or you're in the hospital.
• Art involves a white board.
• You're already late on the assignment you just got.
• When 100% of your time means 20 hours, with 40 more hours on the other 100%

of your time.
• You work 200 hours for the $100 bonus check and jubilantly say "Oh wow, thanks!"
• Dilbert cartoons hang outside every cube and are read only by your co-workers. 
• Your boss' favorite lines are, "When you get a few minutes" or "When you're freed up."
• Your boss' second favorite lines are, "...this isn't exactly what we need. It may be what we asked for, but things have changed."
• Vacation is something you rollover to next year, or you try to use up three weeks between  Christmas and New Years because otherwise you will lose it, or you get a check for it every January.
• Your relatives and family describe your job as "works with computers."
• Change is the norm.
• Nepotism is encouraged.
• The only reason you recognize your kids and friends is because their pictures are hanging  in your cube.
• You only have makeup for fluorescent lighting.
• You read this entire list and understood it.

Humor on the Job & Other

• Prison vs. Work
• Determining the Gender of Computers
• Medical Records
• 
• Medical Bloopers
• On line Anti-Stress Kit
• Another Anti-Stress Kit
• 
• Seuss-isms: Wise and Witty Prescrptions for Living.
• How to learn from a Dog
• A Tigger Site
• How to Live a Happy Life
• 

• The Extra-Long Work Week
• Physician Burnout