9-11 United in Courage & Grief

Ways of Coping - The Basics
In coping with the aftermath of these tragic events, it is important to take care of yourself. Even more so, during this time of stress and uncertainty, remembering to focus on what is basics for your body to survive:

• Take it one hour at a time, one day at a time.
• As much as you can maintain your normal routine. Even if you don't feel like doing your regular activities, try to anyway. You can behave your way to recovery. Return to your usual routine also helps to defeat the terrorists goals of disrupting our lives.
• Get enough sleep; if you aren't sleep, at least try to get plenty of rest.
• Try and get some regular exercise. This is an excellent way to relieve stress and tension.
• Work on keeping a balanced diet. Watch out for junk food, or high calorie comfort food binges.
• Drink plenty of water.
• Be sure to drink in moderation. Alcohol should not be used as a way of masking the pain.
• Do what comforts, sustains and recharges you.
• Remind yourself of other times you have felt strong emotions and how you have survived them. Strong feelings are a part of you; they can influence what you do and who you will become, but they do not rule your life.

1. Keep your money in the stock market; leave your investments where they are. Show your faith in our economy by investing in the stock market.
2. Fill your car's gas tank as you normally would.  Don't run to the gas station to fill up your car. Stay with your normal pattern of fueling. If you're a gas station owner, don't give in to price gouging. If you find yourself and your community victims of price gouging (at gas stations or grocery stores), bring it to the public's attention.
3. Buy things — anything, no matter how small. Consider buying a new car, something fuel efficient to reduce our dependence on foreign oil. If you've had a project or purchase on your mind, now is the time to follow through. Don't put off purchases that you have planned because of this incident and fear for the economy. These delayed purchases can be self-fulfilling prophecies of a failing economy. Our collective purchases will have a phenomenal impact and help us fight fear induced volatility of the price of everyday goods and services.
4. Fly the American flag.  Fly it from your house. Fly it from your car. Fly it in a position of respect anywhere you can. Stand tall and be American.
5. Withdraw cash from the bank as you usually would. Don't help cause a run on the banks by withdrawing all your money. Our financial systems are strong and resilient. Withdraw cash as you normally do. Terrorists fully intend to scare us into thinking that our systems are vulnerable well beyond the point of impact.
6. Use public transportation systems. Make business and travel arrangements as you normally would. Book a flight as quickly as you are able in order to show your confidence in our airlines, the new airport security guidelines, and our public safety system. Support the airport security personnel and let them know you're proud of what they are doing.
7. Conserve energy.  This will help to stabilize prices and supplies. Take public transportation, walk, bike, carpool, do whatever you can to avoid driving. Taking public transportation to work once a week will be a tremendous help. Turn off unused lights and appliances at home.
8. Write your members of Congress to demand more funding for alternative fuel research. Our dependence on foreign oil is a huge vulnerability. If the United States decides to take military action, our oil supplies may be affected. By reducing our dependence on foreign oil, we enable our government to do what is deemed necessary.
9. Help unify this country by engaging your neighbors and community.  We need to have one voice to fight terrorism. Everyone must come together in order for our collective actions to defeat this evil. Acts of violence against our own people, regardless of their faith or background, can only be destructive.
10. Get back into your normal pattern of work and living. Do what you can to continue your normal routines.  Embrace the new security guidelines in airports and other public places and don't complain.

1. First, never lose sight of the fact that, either as a primary or secondary goal, the terrorist act is designed to engender psychological instability. More specifically, the goal of the terrorist act is to induce a state of psychological uncertainty, personal vulnerability, and fear. Terrorism is psychological warfare!
2. Establish crisis intervention hot-lines and walk-in crisis intervention facilities in every community directly or indirectly affected. Psychological support and the restoration of a sense
of community is imperative.
3. Provide pre-incident psychological resiliency training, as well as on-going psychological support during and after the terrorist attack to emergency response personnel.  Remember that the psychological state of mind of emergency responders and military personnel will have direct effects upon their ability to perform their necessary functions and upon the physical and mental health of the targeted population as well.
4. Collaborate with mass media services to provide on-going information to all involved and affected populations. Credible information is anxiolytic, and contradicts the sense of chaos. Information combats destructive rumors. Provide age appropriate reading, mass media, and community activities to help children cope with the situation. 5. Take whatever steps seem requisite to re-establish a sense of physical safety for the public. Widely publicize these efforts to the degree security considerations will allow. Special considerations should be made for children, the elderly, and the infirm.
6. Enlist the support of local political, educational, medical, economic, and religious leaders. Have them facilitate communications, calm fears, provide personal crisis intervention (if adequately trained to do so), and instill hope.
7. Re-establish normal communication, transportation, school, and work schedules as soon as possible. The longer and greater the disruption, the greater the perceived risk and lack of safety on the part of the public.
8. Understand and utilize the power of symbols as a means of re-establishing community cohesion. Flags, bumper stickers, wearing red, white and blue, signs, and billboards can all be effective.
9. Initiate rituals to honor the survivors, honor the rescuers, and honor the dead. Provide opportunities for others, not directly affected, to assist those directly affected, e.g., donations of blood, food, clothing, money, etc. Communicate to all the notion that an effective way to honor the dead is to carry on and succeed in life. To do otherwise is to allow the terrorists to be victorious.
10. Do no harm! Although well intended, early psychological support may be counterproductive if:

a)  it interferes with tactical assessment and rescue efforts,
b)  applied in such a way as to interfere with natural recovery mechanisms, or
c)  it intensifies the manifest level of experienced traumatization.

• Give yourself permission to grieve. It is important to work through the emotions. An ungrieved loss remains alive in our unconscious.
• Talking about your emotions can help you work through them. Talk about your feelings with someone you trust, such as your parents or another relative, a school counselor or a spiritual leader.
• Tell your story. Telling the story of the grief gives a voice to the loss. Telling and retelling the story of grief is a way of helping to make the loss real. Each time the story is repeated, the reality of the loss becomes more undeniable.
• Listen to each other. One of the most valuable things we can do to help each other heal is listen to the stories.
• Keep up with the news reports, as new information becomes available.
• Take breaks away from the intense news coverage for periods of time. If needed avoid media coverage of the event all together. Repeatedly reliving the disaster in pictures and images or hearing about how frightening the event was can slow down a person's ability to get over the stress of the disaster.
• Reflect on what brings meaning and importance in your life. View this as a "Wake-up" call, chance to re-evaluate your life and your life priorities.
• Rededicate yourself to the fundamental principles--life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness--for which our nation stands.
• Draw strength from your spiritual or religious beliefs and traditions.
• Attend (or organize) memorial services.
• Guard against prejudice and racism. Extremists carried out these acts of terror. Speak out if you hear prejudice or racism. Caution others to avoid inappropriate generalizations about any religious, racial or ethnic group.
• If you become angry make sure that the anger serves the cause of justice and fairness, not prejudice and blind revenge.
• Put off making any major life-changing decisions. Use the time to evaluate your priorities--which many have changed in light of this life-altering event.
• Spend time with your family and/or loved ones.
• If your feelings continue to remain as strong or last longer than four to six weeks, or in your thoughts are out of control, leading to depression or causing anxiety that is inactivating, you may want to seek professional help to help you sort through your feelings. Contact your Employee Assistance Program, your primary care physician, or a local mental health clinic.
• If you want to begin healing, start giving. By helping other people, you can begin to heal.

Things to Do:
Express your emotions down on paper via Creative Writing, Journaling, Poetry, even List making
Take slow deep breaths, especially when feeling tense
Soak in a warm bath, or warm bubble bath
Walk, run, hike, dance, play tennis, swim, ride a bike, climb a rock--whatever gets you moving
Attend religious services
Plant a "memory garden"
Send your condolences
Walk or Run for Charity
Design a Website
Wear a ribbon - Red, White and Blue for Patriotism, Green for Peace (see below)
Display the American Flag--on yourself, on your car, on your home
Organize a memorial service
Sing, listen to soothing music
Pray or meditate
Hug a loved one
Get a massage
Create a memorial e.g. quilt, mural, sculpture etc.
Help someone else less fortunate
Put your creativity to use
Volunteer

Things to Sense:
Watch favorite old uplifting movies
Attend the theater
Go to the symphony or music concert
Look through old photo albums, alone or with loved ones
Get out in nature
Walk through a garden
Look up at the night sky
Watch the sun rise or set
Watch the waves at the ocean
Listen to a brook, lake, river or ocean
Smell - your favorite smells e.g. baking bread, pine forests, spring flowers, lavender

Things to Feel:
A deep sense of calmness
Feeling the wind on your face
Tumbling down a snowy or grassy hill
Having water splash and tingle your skin
Seeing a rainbow emerge from the clouds

Places to Just "Be"
Under a tree
At the beach
On a rock
In nature
By a stream or lake
On a bench
Under a waterfall
In a warm bath or hot tub
On top of a high mountain
In a church setting
In a setting with a breath-taking view
At sunset
Sitting quietly, calmly

In this troubled world, it's refreshing to find someone who still has the time to be kind.
Someone who still has the faith to believe that the more you give, the more you receive.
Someone who's ready by thought, word, or deed to reach out a hand, in the hour of need.

• Participate in community ceremonies that will be held across the country to remember and honor the dead, the wounded and the missing
• Create a your own Memorial service - in memory of those who have died, in memory of the rescue workers
• Create a Memorial - Bulletin Board of Letters, poems pictures, sculpture, collage
• Donate--money, time, food clothing-- to the 9-11 relief efforts or to your favorite charity. Other disasters are and will be occurring which will need support, but may not get the publicity.
• Donate blood at your local blood center.
• Give blood at regular intervals after the initial need has been met. There will be other disasters that will also need the blood.
• Contribute in some way to the rescue work and rebuilding effort through donations of time, money or other assistance to victims and their families.
• Wear red, white, and blue ribbons or clothes. Encourage your friends and family to do so that people can show their support.
• Make a Patriotic Pin. Instructions at: http://www.katu.com/special/attack/patriotic_pins.asp
• Write sympathy and support notes to affected individuals and groups.
• Thank your local firefighters, police and emergency personnel for the job that they do.
• Tell your loved ones and friends how you feel about them--before it is too late.
• Perform random acts of kindness. This will help to reassure yourself there is tenderness and thoughtfulness in the world. Pay the bridge toll for the person behind you. Smile at the store clerk.
• Be especially kind to others. Make space for the car merging in on the freeway. Don't honk your horn unless it is necessary.
• Volunteer your services to someone in need. Offer your assistance to someone who needs help. Reassure yourself that there is kindness and caring in the world.
• Do something that could help others - for example, take a first aid or CPR class
• Plant a tree or flowers in a garden in memory
• Wear green ribbons as symbols for life, peace and support for the thousands that lost their lives and the millions whose hearts they touched http://www.greenribbon.org/
• Visit the 9-11 peace.org Website who are urging a non-military response as the best strategy for a permanent end to terror and supporting action for Justice not war. Sign a petition to be sent to world leaders. Attend an event and get involved in the mobilization for peace.
• Phone, write, and email your elected officials to let them know how you are feeling about these events.

• Send a message to the families and friends of victims.
• Share your ideas about what should be done and what you are doing to help.
• Keep a journal of your thoughts and emotions.
• Learn more about what's going on in the world. Watch the news with an adult.
• Plan a memorial or a remembrance service
• Create A Tree of Hope - http://www.fenichel.com/hopetree.shtml

A tree trunk with branches needs to be cut out of paper to place on a wall, or a suitable tree outdoors can be used. Then students should write their thoughts, short stories, quotes, verses or poems on paper of their choosing. They can also include e-mail messages from other people around the world. Finally "leaves" for the tree are cut out of the paper and added to the tree. The "tree" can be further embellished with ribbons and other mementos.
• Make a poster, or a collage with drawings, pictures and thoughts.

• Join the Green Ribbon Campaign. Green ribbons are symbols for life, peace and support for the thousands that lost their lives and the millions whose hearts they touched.
• Paint flags on posters or paper and hang them in public places in your town.
• Write personal messages or draw pictures showing your support for the firemen, policemen, and rescue workers. Put them in public places like your yard or in windows. Ask local merchants if they'll put one of your signs in their window. Try and get the messages published in the local paper.
• Support 9-11 peace.org urging a non-military response as the best strategy for a permanent end to terror and supporting action for Justice not war. Sign a petition to be sent to world leaders. Attend an event and get involved in the mobilization for peace.
• Bake cookies or collect cards from your friends for the local firefighters and policemen who work in your hometown to tell them how much you appreciate their hard work. Ask your parents for help to deliver them.
• Wear red, white, and blue ribbons or clothes. Encourage your friends and family to do so that people can show their support.
• Make a Patriotic Pin. Instructions at: http://www.katu.com/special/attack/patriotic_pins.asp
• Post an online message to all of the firefighters and rescue workers. Read the messages sent by other people.

Birth to 2 years
Activities for home: frequent cuddling, caring, maintain routines, remain calm.
Preschool and Kindergarten
Activities for home or school: play acting, physical contact, puppets, art, stories, large muscle movement (throwing balls, etc.).
School Age (7 to 12 years)
Activities for home or school: play acting, puppets, drawing and painting, sharing their experiences in groups, reading, creative writing or discussion.
Middle School to High School (12 to 18 years)
Activities at school: general classroom activities, literature or reading, peer helpers, health class, art class, speech/drama, social studies/government, history.

Share your thoughts in the new Message Forum Transformations on the Journey Page posted October 7, 2001.
In Memory of all those lost and forever missing from the events on September 11, 2001, the day our world changed.
The ribbon art was created by Alon Cohen. Available at: http://people.bu.edu/xrpnt/ribbons/
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